How to help your toddler or preschooler adjust to a new baby
Congratulations on adding a little one to your growing family!
A new baby brings joy and excitement, as well as worry and stress.
With another young child already in the family, you may be wondering: how will they react? Now that they aren’t the only child and your attention will be split between two, will your older child struggle with this transition?
It’s good to start considering this ahead of time. That way you can prep your little one before the arrival of his little sibling.
Read below for some tried and true methods of making a smooth transition for your soon to be big sibling.
Table of Contents
#1. Talk about babies
First step: prepare your child for the idea that you’ll be having a new baby around.
Depending on your personal preference, you may not want to let your child know about the new baby very far in advance.
After all, while you hope and pray for a healthy baby, miscarriages and losses are common—especially in the early months of pregnancy. Plus, young kids have a poor concept of time. And if you let them know several months in advance, they’ll feel as though they’ve been waiting literally forever.
But even if you’re putting that conversation off, you can start pointing out babies you notice while you’re out together. Speculate how it would be if you had a baby like that in your family.
Books are also a good way to approach the topic. Discuss with your child how the character coped with the new baby and how lucky they are to have a new sibling.
And once your due date gets closer, start having kid-friendly conversations and questions.
“Do you know what’s growing in mommy’s belly?”
“You’re so lucky that you get to see how a baby grows bigger and bigger everyday!”
“Did you know this is how you grew in mommy’s belly, too?”
Conversations starters like this will prime your child for thinking of the baby in a positive light. It’ll make them feel special that you’re discussing something so exciting with them one on one.
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#2. Give them a special job
Young kids have limited understanding of other people’s emotions.
So you’ll want to find some way to make the new addition exciting for your child. To turn the big event into an opportunity or game.
Every day, discuss with your little one what exciting new things will be added into their day. Explain that they are the big brother or sister. They have more experience and a bigger brain. And so they can be your helper and learn to do grown up jobs like how to feed a baby, help a baby stop crying, read to the baby, and play with the baby. That way the baby’s brain will grow big too.
After the baby arrives, try asking your child’s opinion. “What shirt do you think your little brother or sister wants to wear today?”
That taste of responsibility will make your big kid feel special. Plus, it creates a special bond and dynamic between you and your little one so they don’t feel forgotten about.
#3. Stress what’s in it for them
Toddler and preschool age children are very ego and self-centric.
They’re not trying to be that way. But they don’t yet understand the concept that people can feel differently than they do.
So the more you spin this situation as something that is fun for them, the more they will be on board!
A popular method is to give big sibling a small gift and let him know this is a gift from the new sibling.
If you choose to give the gift, it’s best to do so right around the arrival of the baby. You might want to give it at the hospital the first time he meets the new baby. That way your child doesn’t have trouble understanding who the gift is from. She also won’t forget about the gift once the baby actually arrives.
What if, even after all your preparations, big sib is less than enthused about the new family member?
Do your best to carve out special one-on-one time for you and your older child. Wait for the new baby to nap or ask someone else to sit with the new baby for an hour or so. Let him know this a special time for just him and mommy.
Ready to help your child adjust to a new baby?
There’s so much going on when you have a new baby.
Caring for a newborn while juggling an older sibling is a struggle.
But the best thing you can do for your current child is to always talk positively about the new baby.
Little kids are very good at picking up on emotions and internalizing them. If every conversation they hear is about how this new baby causes you pain or stress, she’ll have a bad taste in her mouth before the new baby even arrives.
So how will you prepare your child today?
Will you read books about new babies? Or create a special job for her to do for the new sibling?
Let me know in the comments.
