6 Ways to Help Small Siblings Bond with Each Other

You want your kids to be best friends. But is that even possible?

Should you just be happy they aren’t always fighting?

Why is it that in some families, the siblings are best friends? And then in other families, brothers and sisters barely tolerate each other.

You know that insisting your children spend time together would just backfire. Should you just let it go?

How to help siblings build healthy relationships

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For kids to grow into healthy adults, they need to learn hygiene, healthy eating habits—and healthy relationships.

The toddler and preschool years are the time for kids to learn to form new relationships and maintain old ones. It’s important for kids to develop a healthy sense of belonging as well. And the natural segue into building relationships is through bonding with siblings.

Sibling bonds set the tone for your child’s future relationships. This early relationship plays a big part in the kind of relationships your child builds as he or she grows older.

But siblings won’t automatically be close just because they’re closely related. Every person is unique, and often siblings will end up with conflicting personalities. It’ll take time for them to gel.

But even more than teaching your child how to get along with others, strong sibling bonds will ensure your children are lifelong friends. The toddler and preschool years are the best time for your children to build positive relationships with each other. If they don’t build a foundation during these years, their relationship is likely to degrade when they become adults and move out of your home.

So how can you help your kids bond with each other?

#1. Build a foundation of respect

Respect is the foundation of every relationship we have. And so that’s the first step to helping your kids create a positive relationship: teaching them to show each other respect.

When you live in close quarters with someone else, it’s easy to become angry or jealous. Young siblings make immature choices and are even more prone to become frustrated and angry with each other.

The antidote to these raging emotions? Respect.

When you respect your brother or sister, you learn to notice and admire what they do well and when they do look out for you. Respect becomes the baseline for what your child thinks of their sibling. It helps them separate in-the-moment feelings from their opinion of their sibling.

Teaching your children to respect others will help them identify temporary feelings. They’ll be more likely to react appropriately in moments of conflict.

#2. Limit interference

Every relationship will have some conflict. Siblings are no exception.

It’s tempting to want to shut a fight down. None of us enjoy listening to our kids shout at or hurt each other.

But if we’re always running to stop the fight or solve the problem, our kids won’t grow. Swooping in to rescue them won’t teach young siblings how to resolve their own conflicts.

Worse, when a parent gets involved, siblings can view that as the parent siding against them. And what happens when siblings think you’re playing favorites? All family relationships are harmed—not only your relationship with your child, but the relationship your children have with each other as well.

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#3. Create traditions to share

What memories do you have from your childhood? Family traditions probably play a big part.

Traditions help create the glue that bonds your children together. When you share special activities that are unique to your family, you share an experience that will last a lifetime.

Most families have traditions that center around the holidays. But why not create traditions you can practice all year round?

Maybe you build your own ice cream sundaes to celebrate summer. Once a month, you might have a family movie night with special snacks and activities.

Don’t forget to create your own birthday traditions, too. Maybe you sing a wacky birthday song in place of the traditional Happy Birthday. Or you create a unique family birthday cake in honor of each family member’s birthday.

#4. Spend some time apart

Everyone appreciates some independence. But when it comes to siblings, it’s tempting to lump them together and ask them to do everything with each other.

Encourage young siblings to do some activities independently. Sure, it might mean some extra work for you. But you’ll be helping them develop their own self-identity.

When you make sure each child has space to be themselves, you help them develop self-confidence. They know what they’re good at and what they enjoy.

It also helps develop stronger relationships with each other and with people outside the family. They don’t feel the need to constantly compare themselves to their siblings.

#5. Show them the goal

The best way to teach kids is through example.

When it comes to sibling relationships, this means showing your children what healthy relationships look like. Practice healthy relationships with your spouse, your own siblings, and your friends.

When conflict arises, don’t hide it. Let your children see how you handle it.

Your arguments and your reconciliation will teach your kids how to interact with others. They’ll learn the appropriate way to disagree with each other, and with those outside the family.

So the next time you disagree in front of your kids, don’t feel guilty. Just make sure you’re doing it in a way that models the lessons you want your children to learn.

#6. Teach understanding and patience

Let’s face it: kids won’t always get along. Especially if they’re siblings.

So it’s important that you teach your children what to do when they disagree.

Teach them that it’s okay for people to think and act differently. Our differences are what make each of us unique and special.

Let them know that they can let behavior slide even if they disagree with it. Help them show patience and kindness even when their sibling does something they think is ridiculous.

Ready to help your kids bond with each other?

Yes, sometimes your kids fight. Sometimes they ignore each other. They want to spend time with anyone but their brother or sister.

But you know now that building relationships takes time.

So you create family traditions just for you and your kids. You stay out of their disagreements whenever possible. You model healthy disagreements with your spouse, your friends, and your own siblings. You encourage your kids to play without each other some of the time.

And when you see those moments when your kids are happy being with each other—you know you’re on your way.